Square one. It’s not so bad.

Nature is my true love!  Mt Baldy, Half Dome, Desolation Wilderness & Ireland
Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.  And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.  Philippians 4:6-7
So here I am.  Back to square one.  I don’t mind being in this square, again, but perhaps this will be the last time.  Wishful thinking?  Who knows.

The last 2 weeks of my life has been a bit crazy, to say the least.  After returning from a great Ireland vacation (post to come soon…) I packed up my home, and moved, for the 26th time.  Yes, you have read the correctly.  I have moved 26 times. During the move my dog got into a terrible accident, my contractor is light years away from being done with my condo and my bf/roomie and I decided to call it quits.  But hey, that’s life.  A beautiful disaster – to say the least!

Instead of feeling like “woe is me” I’m taking a different, intentional approach.  I’ve grown to realize and truly grasp that happiness is very much a choice – and a choice that needs to be made every single day.  So without getting into too much detail – here are the joys I feel through the disasters:

Moving:  This 26th move was into MY home.  That I own.  I’m not paying someone else’s mortgage anymore, or following strict guidelines on what I can/can’t do.  Though it’s unfinished, when it is done, it will be lovely.  I haven’t had a place that truly felt like home in quite some time, so I am excited for what this place will become.

Lynard:  Seeing my dog in such pain was heartbreaking.  Truly.  But praise God, he is just fine.  He has some cuts and bruises, but that’s about it.  He’s happy, healthy, comforting and darling.  It was incredibly time-consuming for me to have to care for him through this injury, but perhaps it gave me a brief glimpse into what parenthood will be like… (ha… I bet all you parents out there are shaking your heads…lol)

Break up:  This relationship was truly great.  I learned so, so much about myself and how to have a good, healthy relationship.  We started as friends, got along wonderfully, always had fun and treated each other great.  Why did it end you ask?  A little thing called love was missing.  I’ve always heard “love is not enough” and in this case – it was pretty much the only thing missing.  And since I’m being honest – I can’t wait to truly love and be loved.  Even though it ended, for the first time in years I learned to trust again, I now understand how to have effective communication, I’ve grasped the importance of compromise, and know how vital it is to have someone who is happy to pack up the car and runaway for the weekend.  These last 10 months we’re 99% joyful and I don’t feel an ounce of regret.  PRAISE GOD.  (Well, break up only lasted a week.  We’re back together – trusting God and waiting to see what happens.)

So – there you have it.  Being back to square one use to terrify me.  I would feel defeated and completely vulnerable.  Now, all I feel is God’s peace and guidance for whatever He has planned for me.  Thank you to the friends who have truly been there.  You’ve made my life so much more beautiful, and I am grateful for you all.

God is good friends.  God is good.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s